September 11.

Written Year 2004. September 11th has passed. For the third time. Two beams of light shine into the sky, seemingly endless, reaching the "heavens". Yet, they are mere shadows of the buildings that stood in its place, the buildings they have come to represent. I remember my first year in New York City. My friend and I decided we could walk it, from the Lower East Side (LES) down to the Tribeca / Financial District. I even remember the boots I wore, poor choice of shoes for such a hike. Our goal was the bright light that guided our way (a terrestrial north star) - it sat on top of the Woolworth Building, once the tallest building. We stopped at the World Trade Center, pressing our palms to the wall signalling the end. We would go no further, our destination reached. Now, when I make that same hike...walking in the footsteps of yesteryear, it's not the same. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me - that building you reached was never one of the towers. Your building still stands, not rubble to the eye. Only thing different is the choice of footwear. Was it the sight of the planes going into / already in the tower...or the repeat viewing of it on television? Was it the sight of the tower crumbling, slowly at first...or simply being stunned amongst the many others on the street? Was it the rumbling of the ground beneath your feet, no matter how far you were...the proverbial shaking of the earth? All the senses bombarded, but yet there was silence. I remember the silence. For all things around me had to be silent, that I heard so clearly in my head my own voice crying out. It cried out... Today, when anyone asks..."Were you there?" I know they mean that day. And I am reminded again... "sakit hati". I am reminded again of those voices that cried out. People may forget, but I never will. For it was those voices, that instilled in me... a sense of life. A reality, that life is short and truly only little matters in life. A sense of good. A sense of love. A sense of joy. So, I say to all those who ask... "Were you there?"... "Yes. live good. love full. seek joy." And for all that has been lost, know that much has been found. For one must first lose to find. And one thing I have found is that never, if it is in your power, to let them feel such a loss as you have.