Think, Don't Overthink

"The Buddha generally presented himself as more physician than metaphysician: if an arrow is sticking out of your side, he famously said, don’t argue about where it came from or who made it; just pull it out. You make your way to happiness not by fretting about it or trafficking in New Age affirmations, but simply by finding the cause of your suffering, and then attending to it, as any doctor (of mind or body) might do." - New York Times, July 22, 2009 -

The previous night, I went to my father with a predicament. Over the past two years, through dialogue with a supervisor (BE) and sitting in silence, I have come to the realization that my problems all stemmed from one thought (two actually, but they went hand in hand) - "I am unworthy of being loved, and incapable of showing love." Along with this revelation, I added, "What do I do now?" My father's reply was simple - "Don't over-think it."

Of course, that was insufficient for me; I needed more - what did he mean? how does one not over-think? Then, he echoed something JG (another much older, influential character in my life) always told me, "Accept the good that comes your way, and sit with it. Do not question, mis-trust or doubt it." And, I decided my plan for the next day - sit with the thought of being someone loved; sit with the thought of being someone who is loving. It was painful. Memories arose along with their accompanying emotions (sadness, anger, hurt, envy), and I felt the tears stream, the ache in my body, the slump in my once-erect posture. I sat back up, and somewhere I heard, "Why does thinking about this bring up painful memories? Why are we not looking for the good memories? Are we not being a little biased here?" So, here starts my journey - Looking at every side of the story, and not over-thinking it.