Interest

I came across this on another blog, recommended to me by my friend AK, which comprises of many heartfelt thoughts that resonated with my own. I share this.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even if its not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from The presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the sliver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are and how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder May 1994

Wisdom and Innocence

I believe people are good at heart. I believe people care. Some people say that’s naïve. Maybe so. But I’m going to try my best to prove them wrong by caring and showing it—especially when it’s hard.

Taking Responsibility for My Own Life

Last evening, I wrestled. I wrestled because my parents were resorting to their old ways in communicating their hurt and angry feelings towards me - putting me down and making me feel guilty and shame. I really wanted to blame them - blame them for making me feel insecure, for not trusting in myself and my abilities, and for keeping myself so guarded. Then, I realized, I am no longer these things and I am an adult - my own person - capable of making my own choices as to how I wish to think, feel and behave.

I am who I am, and I do not have to fulfill any expectations that I do not myself set (in a loving way).

So rather than blame, I chose to forgive. I forgive them for not knowing how to express their love and concern for me in a healthy way, because I know it is a result of them never having learned how to do that themselves. And by forgiving them, I see the hurt but I also see the love behind it. I acknowledge they care, and I can accept that including their way of showing it no matter how unpleasurable it is for me.


"We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame. "

The Real Thing

I must thank my friend CP for introducing me to this website. Today's post was especially relevant to me and what I have been evaluating over the last year. I feel reassured that my thoughts are echoed in this article, and that I am on a path that is meaningful.

The Real Thing
Love Should Feel Good

Love should feel good. Relationships that leave you feeling depleted, sad and making excuses are not based in love.Often in our lives, we fall prey to the idea of a thing rather than actually experiencing the thing itself. We see this at play in our love lives and in the love lives of our friends, our family, and even fictional characters. The conceptualizing, depiction, and pursuit of true love are multimillion-dollar industries in the modern world. However, very little of what is offered actually leads us to an authentic experience of love. Moreover, as we grasp for what we think we want and fail to find it, we may suffer and bring suffering to others. When this is the case, when we suffer more than we feel healed, we can be fairly certain that what we have found is not love but something else. When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it. If we try to make more of it than it is, the romance then becomes painful. Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last. Real love is identifiable by the way it makes us feel. Love should feel good. There is a peaceful quality to an authentic experience of love that penetrates to our core, touching a part of ourselves that has always been there. True love activates this inner being, filling us with warmth and light. An authentic experience of love does not ask us to look a certain way, drive a certain car, or have a certain job. It takes us as we are, no changes required. When people truly love us, their love for us awakens our love for ourselves. They remind us that what we seek outside of ourselves is a mirror image of the lover within. In this way, true love never makes us feel needy or lacking or anxious. Instead, true love empowers us with its implicit message that we are, always have been, and always will be, made of love.

An Open Heart

Clipped Two Different Posts (for two different reasons) to highlight:

I know. I did too. It was heart breaking! Seeing both Booth and Brennan cry after he says he always knew she was the one.. and she can't open up her heart enough to trust him with hers (the ultimate reason). She hates psychology but this is a classic example of fearing what we could do to others when in reality we are afraid of what they could do to us.

Living with an Open Heart

There have been historic amounts of snow falling in Philadelphia and the Northeast; so, it is easy to find yourself being cold. Yesterday, I woke up to a snowed-in morning and before I got out of bed I realized I was thinking about the ability to express love in my half-sleep/wake mode. It felt like I was thinking but I realized I was projecting what I thought to someone else as if I felt my thoughts through the other person and not myself. I was feeling as though I had “stepped out” of my being and into another persons’ being.

Either way, I was feeling different and thinking of the sad reality that most of us are prisoners of the self, or the self that is imposed by our immediate surroundings and family, our society, culture, upbringing, circumstances and predispositions. As a whole most of us do not take the time to express and live through love. It is quite possible that the world tears at you and slowly your heart can become closed.; this can be limiting yet a protective and pointed way of living a modern life. But, what about when you feel like you want to say or do something different in a situation and you are almost debilitated, incapacitated by your old behavior, by the old you? It prompted questions: How long have you been living in the old, same you? When do you feel you will be strong enough to overcome your old self and break the chains to change? When will we say enough and surrender to truly open our heart center and live from there?

This morning I turned on my heart light and I opened my heart a little wider. I don’t know how long it will stay this open. I don’t know if it will get discarded, like the snow that covers the ground as the sidewalk gets shoveled. I do know that for a full 15 minutes I felt this warm buzzing, so strong, and it was my heart resonating, vibrating L O V E. I didn’t need a particular person to claim it or cherish it. It didn’t need to be sent to anyone, I let it radiate out into the Universe as far as it could go. Funny, it really didn’t go that far and maybe that is because I needed the love myself. It is said in spiritual practice that you must first love yourself before you can love others. I truly believe that idea. Loving with an open heart yourself, your life and others is a process and exercise of letting go.

Funny, I hadn’t even think of the whole Valentine’s Day connection; but, it popped into my mind and suddenly I really savored the idea of taking time to open my heart and using these moments to pledge to myself that I will live connected to and from the heart. For me having an open heart has been a bit by bit process to embody. In the past, I was scared to express these types of emotions to others or myself. Today, I feel rewarded to get further into the realm of Open Heart and Universal Love and Consciousness and further away from a selfish me that thought the world did me wrong and closed me down. It is only I who can send out the Love I want to give and receive in living life.

Ahh, snow angels, give me wings, I am on my way..

MEDITATION FOR ANYWHERE- (3- 5 minutes) –

Try focusing on yourself or another person in your life and visualize pure love flowing from your heart into theirs or your own heart.

Deep breathing through your intention, focusing on the energy you are sending out. You could see the color green, feel the heart opening and streaming, pouring love into the heart. You can even put your hands over your heart to connect the mind and body to the spirit. When finished sit quietly and absorb the sensations you created through the practice.

This is a practice to become more heart centered/connected and one that hopefully reminds you of the beauty in Love.

Daily OM - Part Trois

I obviously can continue... this person(s) writes so wonderfully my thoughts and sentiments:-

What We See
Judging Others

When we judge others we should ask ourselves where these judgments come from, is it something we see in ourselves?

Though it is human to evaluate people we encounter based on first impressions, the conclusions we come to are seldom unaffected by our own fears and our own preconceptions. Additionally, our judgments are frequently incomplete. For example, wealth can seem like proof that an individual is spoiled, and poverty can be seen as a signifier of laziness—neither of which may be true. At the heart of the tendency to categorize and criticize, we often find insecurity. Overcoming our need to set ourselves apart from what we fear is a matter of understanding the root of judgment and then reaffirming our commitment to tolerance.

When we catch ourselves thinking or behaving judgmentally, we should ask ourselves where these judgments come from. Traits we hope we do not possess can instigate our criticism when we see them in others because passing judgment distances us from those traits. Once we regain our center, we can reinforce our open-mindedness by putting our feelings into words. To acknowledge to ourselves that we have judged, and that we have identified the root of our judgments, is the first step to a path of compassion. Recognizing that we limit our awareness by assessing others critically can make moving past our initial impressions much easier. Judgments seldom leave room for alternate possibilities.

Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them.” If we are quick to pass judgment on others, we forget that they, like us, are human beings. As we seldom know what roads people have traveled before a shared encounter or why they have come into our lives, we should always give those we meet the gift of an open heart. Doing so allows us to replace fear-based criticism with appreciation because we can then focus wholeheartedly on the spark of good that burns in all human souls.

Daily OM - Part Deux

Another article that echoes my sentiment...!

An Inner Choice
Peace

There cannot be peace in the world until we have it in our own hearts and minds, our own families and neighborhoods.

Often we look at the outside world and find it in a state of seeming chaos or disorder. We feel compelled to transform the situation from one of turmoil into one of peace, yet we are often disappointed in our best attempts to do so. One reason for this is that we cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer. Peace starts in our own minds and hearts, not outside of ourselves, and until its roots are firmly entrenched in our own selves, we cannot manifest it externally. Once we have found it within, we can share it with our family, our community, and the whole wide world. Some of us may already be doing just that, but for most of us, the first step is looking within and honestly evaluating the state of our own relationship to peacefulness.

Interestingly, people who manifest peace internally are not different from us; they have chattering thoughts and troubled emotions like we all do. The difference is that they do not lend their energy to them, so those thoughts and feelings can simply rise and fall like the waves of the ocean without disturbing the deeper waters of peacefulness within. We all have this ability to choose how we distribute our energy, and practice enables us to grow increasingly more serene as we choose the vibration of peace over the vibration of conflict. We begin to see our thoughts and feelings as tiny objects on the surface of our being that pose no threat to the deep interior stillness that is the source of peacefulness.

When we find that we are able to locate ourselves more and more in the deeper waters and less on the tumultuous surface of our being, we have discovered a lasting relationship with peace that will enable us to inspire peace beyond ourselves. Until then, we help the world most by practicing the art of choosing peace within.

Daily OM - a hop, skip and stumble into delight!

My friend CP recommended this website to me the other day as we exchanged inspiration(s).

Daily OM

Today, I stumbled onto this message.

Often the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change, but to change ourselves.

We all know from experience that we can’t change other people, yet most of us have a tendency to try. This is because we naturally feel the need to do something to change situations that we find troubling. It often doesn’t occur to us that the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change but to change ourselves. When we make adjustments from within, we become role models for others, and leading by example is much more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.

We sometimes look outside ourselves for what’s wrong with the world, but the outside world is really just a mirror reflecting us back to ourselves. When we encounter negativity—anger, depression, fear—we empower ourselves by looking for its roots inside of ourselves. For example, if you have a friend who is unreliable, observe yourself and notice if there are ways in which you are unreliable. You may be surprised to discover that you have your own struggles with this issue in ways you weren’t able to see. Once you own the issue for yourself, you can begin to work for change within yourself. This will also enable you to have more compassion for your friend. At the very least, as you strive to become more reliable, you will become more of the person you want to be. In the best-case scenario, you will be an inspiration to others.

You can apply the same method to larger issues. For example, if there is something you see in the larger world that you would like to change—let’s say, greed—try taking responsibility for changing it in yourself. Instead of being angry with those you see as greedy, seek out the roots of your own greed and come to terms with your power to transform it. This may be the best way to lead the world toward greater moderation and generosity.

Thank you to the author - s/he echoed my sentiments so thoughtfully.

To The White Rabbit...

When I speak of not feeling human, I do not think I am not human like others. I know very much for a fact that I am human complete with human thoughts, emotions, etc. However, I feel disconnected from the other humans. The reason for this disconnect is because (for whatever reason) I recognize that much of the way I see, think, feel, perceive the world is very different from how people tell me I should see, think, feel or perceive. The people I refer to are those who brought me up - parents, family, teachers, peers. That's how I do not feel "human."

In my bid to feel connected, to understand, I have tried on many skins and held many personas. Only to realize, that I am none of those things. I am me.

What you are seeing is my self coming to fruition - I am only starting to see who I truly am and accept myself that way. For example, I find wonder in the smallest things, and rather be laughing than frowning. In fact, there is so much I have come to realize in my 28 years that I have come to understand is UNIQUE about me (everyone has a little piece, but what makes it unique is the combination of all those different little pieces that makes me - ME). In the same, I find people curious - I love to "see' all those different little pieces that make them uniquely who they are - each and everyone.

As a young person (since I was 8, I believe), I wanted to get away from it all. I wanted the space to think independently about who I am and what my path was about. There were a lot of perplexing questions - and I was always one with an open and curious mind, always wanting and willing to learn from myself and from others. I find and recognize that how I see the world and how I live in it is a product of my mind. It is those perspectives that make me think and feel what I do. And the questions that I ask come from my heart, my life and the experiences within it. Each question will lead to an answer, which leads only to another question. Believe me, this does not trouble me. Perhaps, the answer at the end of this path is "42." I am not distressed by this - I enjoy this journey, in fact.

I have always had an open, inquisitive, and somewhat skeptical mind about things that present themselves to me. I examine it with reason (sometimes in meditation) and put it to test in my life. And as I gain insight into my mind, I recognize how to deal with my day-to-day experiences of thoughts and emotions. I uncover inaccurate and unhelpful habits of thinking and begin to correct them.

I cannot escape having a "philosophy of life" because I know it guides my thoughts, feelings and ultimately my actions - kindness/indifference; generosity/selfishness; patience/blame... etc.

I do not simply want to accept things without having examined it - but after having examined it, I find that there is no answer, I know I am satisfied. I know this because I have experienced this, and am perfectly comfortable not knowing.

[The following revolves around astrology, but I cannot help but see the resemblance to what I am trying to communicate]

Fixed Air & Mutable Water this is perhaps the strangest combination. Both of these signs are unconventional as far as society is concerned. They seem to know things other people don’t know. Aquarius desire to know with Pisces intuition could be very helpful. However, they aren’t on the same wave length. It takes some objective observation to make this unusual combination fit. Society is no help when it comes to putting it together. Pisces belongs to the mystics while Aquarius belongs to the scientist. Of course, no one fits this pattern exactly.
Both must find a part of society in which they feel most comfortable. Those dealing with this cusp of qualities in one chart must find a unique way to blend these two abilities on their own. Most of you will be rather silent about what you are able to recognize since you realize very early that no one else recognizes things as they appear to be to you. If you worry too much about other people, you may put so much pressure on yourself to fit in that you distort the best of what you have. If you are able to deal with the difference you recognize between you and the society in which you find yourself, it is possible for you to develop some real genius qualities. It will be up to you to recognize these differences and not try too hard to get the recognition you would like to have to help you develop your ideas. If you have enough control without looking weird, you will be able to learn something from everyone, even if they understand very little, if anything, about the way you see your world. Psychic phenomena is natural to you. If society laughs at this too early in your life, you will shut it off and deny you ever saw anything. You will learn very soon that others don’t see what you see. You will have to decide whether you can find a safe way to be yourself or if it would be safer to try to be more like everyone else. Singers, actors, authors, and that in-between group which cannot be classified are able to do a good job with this cusp.

Someday You Will Be LOVED

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

A broken heart eventually mends,
Scars heal when we attend to them.
The pain one feels eventually ends,
No matter how hard now it is to comprehend.

It took 36 hours to digest, process and finally accept that I too will be loved. Just for who I am.

~K~