Last evening, I wrestled. I wrestled because my parents were resorting to their old ways in communicating their hurt and angry feelings towards me - putting me down and making me feel guilty and shame. I really wanted to blame them - blame them for making me feel insecure, for not trusting in myself and my abilities, and for keeping myself so guarded. Then, I realized, I am no longer these things and I am an adult - my own person - capable of making my own choices as to how I wish to think, feel and behave.
I am who I am, and I do not have to fulfill any expectations that I do not myself set (in a loving way).
So rather than blame, I chose to forgive. I forgive them for not knowing how to express their love and concern for me in a healthy way, because I know it is a result of them never having learned how to do that themselves. And by forgiving them, I see the hurt but I also see the love behind it. I acknowledge they care, and I can accept that including their way of showing it no matter how unpleasurable it is for me.
"We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame. "
No comments:
Post a Comment