Reflections

A lot has happened.

I have previewed these pages, and the words all still ring true. I believe in these words of mine, but I'll be honest, I have not always been able to put them to practice - I have not always been able to test myself.

I want to make the quick excuse - I am human, and suffer from human frailties. But that's not the truth. The truth is I ask a lot of myself - sometimes, more than I can deliver, and I end up only disappointing myself.

My voice always rings true, but I am not always able to give it strength. My fears do get the better of me. So, here sits the truth...

I am a good person, but more often than not, I see my bad - I tell myself that I do so to know what I need to change, but the reality is that it is scary - it is scary to see my light
I do not want to be held accountable to it, I do not want to always be subject to its standards - for it is a glorious light
The reality is that there is nothing to change - but it would make me feel without purpose, and without that - what is meaning... I feel so lost.

But life is not a dog and pony show. I am not here to perform tricks - to entertain... not even to simply satisfy myself.

Yet, if you were to tell me I was bad, my heart of hearts know its not the TRUTH.

This is pure rambling, at best, but what I really want to say is HEAR ME.