Daily OM - Part Deux

Another article that echoes my sentiment...!

An Inner Choice
Peace

There cannot be peace in the world until we have it in our own hearts and minds, our own families and neighborhoods.

Often we look at the outside world and find it in a state of seeming chaos or disorder. We feel compelled to transform the situation from one of turmoil into one of peace, yet we are often disappointed in our best attempts to do so. One reason for this is that we cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer. Peace starts in our own minds and hearts, not outside of ourselves, and until its roots are firmly entrenched in our own selves, we cannot manifest it externally. Once we have found it within, we can share it with our family, our community, and the whole wide world. Some of us may already be doing just that, but for most of us, the first step is looking within and honestly evaluating the state of our own relationship to peacefulness.

Interestingly, people who manifest peace internally are not different from us; they have chattering thoughts and troubled emotions like we all do. The difference is that they do not lend their energy to them, so those thoughts and feelings can simply rise and fall like the waves of the ocean without disturbing the deeper waters of peacefulness within. We all have this ability to choose how we distribute our energy, and practice enables us to grow increasingly more serene as we choose the vibration of peace over the vibration of conflict. We begin to see our thoughts and feelings as tiny objects on the surface of our being that pose no threat to the deep interior stillness that is the source of peacefulness.

When we find that we are able to locate ourselves more and more in the deeper waters and less on the tumultuous surface of our being, we have discovered a lasting relationship with peace that will enable us to inspire peace beyond ourselves. Until then, we help the world most by practicing the art of choosing peace within.

Daily OM - a hop, skip and stumble into delight!

My friend CP recommended this website to me the other day as we exchanged inspiration(s).

Daily OM

Today, I stumbled onto this message.

Often the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change, but to change ourselves.

We all know from experience that we can’t change other people, yet most of us have a tendency to try. This is because we naturally feel the need to do something to change situations that we find troubling. It often doesn’t occur to us that the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change but to change ourselves. When we make adjustments from within, we become role models for others, and leading by example is much more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.

We sometimes look outside ourselves for what’s wrong with the world, but the outside world is really just a mirror reflecting us back to ourselves. When we encounter negativity—anger, depression, fear—we empower ourselves by looking for its roots inside of ourselves. For example, if you have a friend who is unreliable, observe yourself and notice if there are ways in which you are unreliable. You may be surprised to discover that you have your own struggles with this issue in ways you weren’t able to see. Once you own the issue for yourself, you can begin to work for change within yourself. This will also enable you to have more compassion for your friend. At the very least, as you strive to become more reliable, you will become more of the person you want to be. In the best-case scenario, you will be an inspiration to others.

You can apply the same method to larger issues. For example, if there is something you see in the larger world that you would like to change—let’s say, greed—try taking responsibility for changing it in yourself. Instead of being angry with those you see as greedy, seek out the roots of your own greed and come to terms with your power to transform it. This may be the best way to lead the world toward greater moderation and generosity.

Thank you to the author - s/he echoed my sentiments so thoughtfully.

To The White Rabbit...

When I speak of not feeling human, I do not think I am not human like others. I know very much for a fact that I am human complete with human thoughts, emotions, etc. However, I feel disconnected from the other humans. The reason for this disconnect is because (for whatever reason) I recognize that much of the way I see, think, feel, perceive the world is very different from how people tell me I should see, think, feel or perceive. The people I refer to are those who brought me up - parents, family, teachers, peers. That's how I do not feel "human."

In my bid to feel connected, to understand, I have tried on many skins and held many personas. Only to realize, that I am none of those things. I am me.

What you are seeing is my self coming to fruition - I am only starting to see who I truly am and accept myself that way. For example, I find wonder in the smallest things, and rather be laughing than frowning. In fact, there is so much I have come to realize in my 28 years that I have come to understand is UNIQUE about me (everyone has a little piece, but what makes it unique is the combination of all those different little pieces that makes me - ME). In the same, I find people curious - I love to "see' all those different little pieces that make them uniquely who they are - each and everyone.

As a young person (since I was 8, I believe), I wanted to get away from it all. I wanted the space to think independently about who I am and what my path was about. There were a lot of perplexing questions - and I was always one with an open and curious mind, always wanting and willing to learn from myself and from others. I find and recognize that how I see the world and how I live in it is a product of my mind. It is those perspectives that make me think and feel what I do. And the questions that I ask come from my heart, my life and the experiences within it. Each question will lead to an answer, which leads only to another question. Believe me, this does not trouble me. Perhaps, the answer at the end of this path is "42." I am not distressed by this - I enjoy this journey, in fact.

I have always had an open, inquisitive, and somewhat skeptical mind about things that present themselves to me. I examine it with reason (sometimes in meditation) and put it to test in my life. And as I gain insight into my mind, I recognize how to deal with my day-to-day experiences of thoughts and emotions. I uncover inaccurate and unhelpful habits of thinking and begin to correct them.

I cannot escape having a "philosophy of life" because I know it guides my thoughts, feelings and ultimately my actions - kindness/indifference; generosity/selfishness; patience/blame... etc.

I do not simply want to accept things without having examined it - but after having examined it, I find that there is no answer, I know I am satisfied. I know this because I have experienced this, and am perfectly comfortable not knowing.

[The following revolves around astrology, but I cannot help but see the resemblance to what I am trying to communicate]

Fixed Air & Mutable Water this is perhaps the strangest combination. Both of these signs are unconventional as far as society is concerned. They seem to know things other people don’t know. Aquarius desire to know with Pisces intuition could be very helpful. However, they aren’t on the same wave length. It takes some objective observation to make this unusual combination fit. Society is no help when it comes to putting it together. Pisces belongs to the mystics while Aquarius belongs to the scientist. Of course, no one fits this pattern exactly.
Both must find a part of society in which they feel most comfortable. Those dealing with this cusp of qualities in one chart must find a unique way to blend these two abilities on their own. Most of you will be rather silent about what you are able to recognize since you realize very early that no one else recognizes things as they appear to be to you. If you worry too much about other people, you may put so much pressure on yourself to fit in that you distort the best of what you have. If you are able to deal with the difference you recognize between you and the society in which you find yourself, it is possible for you to develop some real genius qualities. It will be up to you to recognize these differences and not try too hard to get the recognition you would like to have to help you develop your ideas. If you have enough control without looking weird, you will be able to learn something from everyone, even if they understand very little, if anything, about the way you see your world. Psychic phenomena is natural to you. If society laughs at this too early in your life, you will shut it off and deny you ever saw anything. You will learn very soon that others don’t see what you see. You will have to decide whether you can find a safe way to be yourself or if it would be safer to try to be more like everyone else. Singers, actors, authors, and that in-between group which cannot be classified are able to do a good job with this cusp.

Someday You Will Be LOVED

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

A broken heart eventually mends,
Scars heal when we attend to them.
The pain one feels eventually ends,
No matter how hard now it is to comprehend.

It took 36 hours to digest, process and finally accept that I too will be loved. Just for who I am.

~K~

Feeling (In)human

Mantra of today: I am human, therefore I err. To not make mistakes is to be inhuman.

All this time, I thought I needed to be perfect.

Then the truth hits me - Nobody is perfect!

No wonder I have felt so disjointed from the rest of the world. I have been trying so hard to become something I can never be - only adding to my sense of failure.

Today, however, I am sitting in the sun, and I realize (like a light bulb on the top of my head just blew!) - I have to accept that to be human means I make mistakes.

My character is not defined by "never" making mistakes; rather, it is determined by how I resolve the mistakes that have been made. Yet, before I can resolve them, I must accept them.

"Heightened Neurosis"

[As I research for a paper... I find this description of my current experience. I hope it helps my friends understand better my experience.]

(paraphrased)

In the process of developing emotional tolerance and coming to a more de-centered relationship with emotions, there can be a disturbance, or a worsening of distress.

Chodron (2001) describes the feelings distress and dread as an indication that the old patterns are loosening. As one gives up old ways of coping and looks more closely at disturbing emotions and habits, one begins to understand their hold, how they play out, and theirroots.

This process brings a period of increased distress that Buddhist have long acknowledged and called "heightened neurosis."

Studies of those who have experienced dramatic and positive life changes suggest that there is a similar period of disturbance before these types of transitions.

As with trauma work, it is essential that the client have the resources to tolerate this difficult process.

The most disturbing and feared view of self, which most often involves themes of defectiveness, undesirability, worthlessness, and failure.

Struggling...

I struggle with writing.

I know this.

Yet I am in an academic program that requires I produce substantial amounts of writing.

Failing to do so means that I cannot graduate.

I am ready to graduate.

Yet, my struggle has led me to remain another year within this program.

Sigh.