Quotes

I'm a fan of good quotes...

My friend UM recommended this site to me: Quote Book

K.

Stuff No One Told Me

and that is ok.

My friend, HS, recently introduced me to this artist's blog: Stuff No One Told Me

and, I LOVE IT.

Enjoy!

Cutting Oneself off from Other People

I am learning that it is a practice to keep oneself open and vulnerable.

These are a few lessons that I am learning; some lessons are revelations about myself that I wish to alter, and others are lessons about myself that I am coming to accept.

I learn that I operate in life with a guard. While I say that I am trusting of people, and I accept that people are good, I do fear getting hurt.

I am learning, however, that I am capable of withstanding such "hurt". For this "hurt" manifests within myself - it is created from the stories I create to explain and understand it. I am beginning to appreciate that by "turning (the emotion) on its head," I gain a new perpesctive - one where I welcome and yet am indifferent to the hurt and not to be either attached or aversed to the feeling. Hurt (as with any (un)comfortable feeling) is an opportunity to learn about myself. I am coming to accept that I feel, and my feelings are a voice to me.

Thus, I wish to let down this guard. To open myself to being "hurt," and all the other feelings that are just that less colorful because of my guard in place.

Cutting Yourself off from Other People

What to Do About It:

1. Identify the cause of your disconnection. This is obviously more complex that a few sentences can summarize, but it’s a crucial first step. If you’re aware your loner mentality leaves you feeling like an outsider watching life happen to other people, the first step is to figure out why you’ve created this situation. What are you afraid of? What are you hiding from? Or what is it you’re hiding from other people? What makes you say no when someone tries to open up your world?

2. Weigh the pros and cons of separation. Oftentimes, people isolate themselves because it feels safe. When it’s just you, there’s less uncertainty, and less potential for discomfort. On the flip side, when you shut people out, you: miss out on relationships that could add a new layer of meaning to your life; limit your possibilities for new opportunities; and increase the chances of over-thinking and feeling bad.

3. Open up slowly. You don’t have to become everyone’s best friend. You just need to entertain the possibility of new connections, even if it’s just one. Un-strange a stranger. Let your guard down just a little and take the risk of being seen. It’s a scary thing because you can’t control someone else’s perceptions. But you don’t need to. I’ve learned it’s OK if some people don’t get me. Every time you open yourself up you reaffirm that you’re happy with who you are–whether everyone else is or not.

Whether you want other people to solve your problems, you want everyone to like you, you want to ensure no one’s better than you, or you want to protect yourself so no one can hurt you, the bottom line is this: real happiness is something we have to find within ourselves. And then hold onto as best we can when people seem unpredictable. Because they’ll always be. And so are we. The only thing that’s certain is that we’re in control of ourselves. Happiness is a choice.

Being Alone can sometimes get Lonely

I am feeling lonely.

I am feeling a little out of touch with the rest of the world.

And what do I do... I curl up into myself.

It is hard. Hard to keep myself open. Hard to keep my heart open. Hard when I realize how I am the same, yet so different.

Standing for myself, I realize, sometimes I stand alone.

And I have to acknowledge that the groundedness that comes with standing alone takes time. Take time to feel and become really solid.

To trust myself takes time. But, I will not give up. Not give up on myself.

Even if it means I will feel lonely.

Starting to Change, Yet Not Changing At All

Sometimes the only way to create something new and wonderful is to completely shed what’s been. Don’t be afraid to evolve. Don’t let yourself get attached to ideas of who you are that no longer serve you.

I am giving myself permission to just do what I think is the right thing. I check in with my body. I check for my defenses. I ask myself about my intentions. Sometimes, it is something I have never tried doing (action or speech) before either because I was afraid or I never thought of it as a possibility. Sometimes, it is something I usually do but with a new "twist," which occurs as I see myself doing it with a more clear lens. It is this moment that I act, all previous moments washed away and all future moments remain unaccounted. I know that I may be making mistakes, but if I don't, how will I ever learn? And, I want to learn. I want to learn to act from seeing clearly.

For example, I learn that the fact that people sometimes hurt other people won’t change. However, my attitudes that lead me to being hurt can change (e.g., "I deserve to be hurt" or "I am not a good person"). While people may act in ways to hurt me, I have come to recognize that my hurt is a product of how I choose to interpret those actions. With practice, I now am able to stop and see that the other person is usually hurting themselves, or have a need to bring about hurt for their own reasons (whether it is conscious to them or not). The only response, in light of this knowledge, is love. Love is the true salve for all ails.

It’s taking time to work through these things and I don’t expect to be finished by next Monday, but that’s what I love about change and self-improvement – there’s no pressure to be complete tomorrow. I can do it all at my own pace, in a way that suits me. I’m a work-in-progress. And that gives me a lot of hope.

Connections

It always surprises me how somethings happen in synchrony. You stop and realize that others are asking the same questions as you, and searching for the same answers. Acquired from a friend asking about "connections"

Connections work in strange ways
You never know how or when it starts
A good conversation
A shared interest
A friendly gesture
It’s like the other person can see right into you
Read your mind
Follow your thoughts
You never run out of things to talk about
And no silence is awkward
You’re just listening
To each other breathing
To each other pondering

Connections are meant to be built on
You realize over time
If it was just a novelty
If it meant anything
If it can be sustained
And if it is real
Sometimes it falls flat and turns into nought
Circumstances change
Feelings weaken
And the connection is no more
You can only hold on to what is left
Memories

Connections must be mutual
When two hands clap in sync
The applause is strong and loud
Its impact resonates and does not die
When two souls are connected
Every word piques your interest
Every idea a gem of a thought
Happiness is shared and amplified
But when a connection is broken
And there is no chance of revival
You can’t clap alone
You have to recognize it for what it is
And close the chapter
Let it go

Interest

I came across this on another blog, recommended to me by my friend AK, which comprises of many heartfelt thoughts that resonated with my own. I share this.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even if its not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from The presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the sliver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are and how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder May 1994