Other People...

Again, sometimes notes fall on your lap (or pop up in your e-mail inbox) just when you need them...


Other people may have their own agenda for our life; we can value their input but we don’t have to take it to heart.


As children, our parents had dreams for us. They wanted us to do well in school, and to do whatever was necessary to reach our highest potential. Later in life, friends may try to set us up with their idea of the perfect partner or the perfect job. People close to us may have ideas about how we should live our lives, ideas that usually come from love and the desire for us to be happy. Other times, they come from a place of need within them—the parent who wants us to live out his or her dreams.

Whatever the case, we can appreciate and consider those people’s input, but ultimately we must follow our own inner guidance.

There may come a time when all the suggestions can become overbearing. We may feel that the people we love don’t approve of our judgment, which can hurt our feelings. It can interfere with the choices we make for our lives by making us doubt ourselves, or filling a void with their wishes before we’ve had a chance to decide what we want. It can affect us energetically as well. We may have to deal with feelings of resistance or the need to shut ourselves off from them.

But we can take some time to rid ourselves of any unnecessary doubts and go within to become clear on what we desire for ourselves.

We can tell our loved ones how much we appreciate their thoughts and ideas, but that we need to live our own lives and make our own decisions. We can explain that they need to let us learn from our own experiences rather than rob us of wonderful life lessons and the opportunity to fine-tune our own judgment. When they see that we are happy with our lives and the path we are taking to reach our goals, they can rest assured that all we need them to do is to share in our joy.


This article already echoes what I have known for very long. What it does not elaborate is that the tasks of standing up for oneself against very overbearing parents is not easy. I have to look deep within myself to recognize the strength I already possess, and the knowledge that I know what is best for me - that I will make mistakes. But for every fall, I am capable and have risen again to take the challenge. It is this knowledge that provides the scaffolding for me to hold myself up and face my parents. I have long known they only mean well - but their love blinds them to the daughter that stands in front of them. Today, I have truly started to mourn the loss of the parents I hope to have (thank you Jennifer). And by accepting my parents for who they are in front of me, I am starting to stand up for myself.